Think of the best, most infinite moments you’ve had with your husband or wife. Why did those times feel so good? What made it feel like you two were really connecting? Probably that you opened up to each other, really looked and really listened… really felt the humanity of the other person.
You can apply this to any activity. Mindfulness can be the catalyst for an amazing conversation. Mindfulness can elevate your sex life. Mindfulness can take an ordinary moment with your life partner and turn it into something magical.
Do you want to grow in mindfulness of your mate? Are you looking for that deeper connection? Can your love use a refresher course?
Practice Mindfulness With Your Mate
Let’s do a quick lesson in mindfulness, Start by being a simple observer.
Take notice of your husband or wife in an ordinary minute. What are they doing? What does his or her face express? How does he or she look to you?
Pay attention to those little things. The curve of their eyebrow. Their hands… the shape of them, and the way they work. The way the back of their shirt is popping out of the waistband of their pants.
Remember that you chose this person to walk the path of life with you. What was it about them that drew you in to want to know their spirit? Can you know their spirit now?
What can you do, what simple thing can you offer as a gift, a small gift to show your love?
That’s the mindfulness of love and care that you can put into this lifelong relationship that will take a path of its own along with whatever else is happening. Approaching your relationship with mindfulness can save what you had thought you lost.
Can you get your partner into mindfulness? Maybe that starts with your own attitude and making some small changes.
How to Be Mindful in Your Marriage or Partnered Relationship
Mindfulness really is about putting extra love and care in. Below find some ways to become more mindful in your approach to relating.
- Resist the urge to interrupt. Instead open your mind to what your partner has to say. Have a mindful conversation where you take turns asking questions, listening and then responding in a thoughtful way.
- Put some extra care into your appearance as a gift to your husband or wife. Take a minute to put on a little makeup, do your hair. Put on that fresh new top. Shave for her.
- Be mindful of your attitude and find ways to improve it. Why are you in a bad mood? Are you two overdue for some intimacy? Could you use exercise on a regular basis to help offload stress? Are you taking that stress out on your partner when it would be better to simply release it in a healthy way?
Mindfulness of your husband or wife means giving credit where it’s due. Maybe he irritated you a little today but think about his contributions to how you two live. Try to imagine what work was like today. Is your mate stressed? Would a back massage help?
There are so many little things you can do to bring mindfulness into your most intimate relationship and in doing so, elevate the experience of life that you share together.
Mindfulness to Elevate Your Family Life and Emotional Connection with One Another
As your children grow, it gets more difficult to maintain the mindfulness that once characterized your early family life. When children are small they want to connect all the time and freely express this. Ordinary things light them up. You could say that our best mindfulness teachers are small children.
But what happens when kids grow older and technology takes over their lives?
You’re apt to see less eye contact, less interest, and your conversations with them may become more shallow. As kids grow into tweens and then teens, the focus shifts to their social group and the alter existence they lead through use of computers. It’s a time for outside influences, and for kids to begin finding their own way, separate from Mom and Dad.
How to maintain a mindful way of life with your family
Make it a point to participate in activities together. Take a walk as a family, hike in the woods or explore downtown together.
Have arts and crafts night or do family games. Don’t allow technology to dominate these moments. Make sure your children shut off the tech and stay fully present while the activity is going on.
Mindfulness can also go into the life lessons that you teach your children. Do your kids know how to cook? Are they of the age where that would be appropriate? Relaxing into a half hour of taking your 11-year-old through the steps of making his or her own grilled cheese sandwich is a mindful way to build life skills.
How often do we really do this in the clamor of our busy lives? Is it any wonder that children seem to be gaining independence at an ever slower rate? Look for those moments when you can help your child practice a skill.
So much more than just skill can be derived from the simple act of painting the mailbox, baking brownies, or helping to clean out the garage. These are tasks that require physical as well as mental engagement.
Having patience, showing by example and then letting your child work their way through a new activity brings mindfulness into the lesson. It’s a huge takeaway, and can be a bonding experience as well.
Helping your child develop independence is also wonderful for his self-esteem.
People criticize social media as being a shallow formulator of self-worth that can crush kids’ self-image. But you don’t need to rely on self social media for those likes when your child is doing real-world activities that help her feel capable and accomplished.
A Mindfulness E-Guide to Help You Relate More Meaningfully
We’re running a special offer on our mindfulness workbook and series of mindfulness exercises. Learn more about our Mindfulness Journaling E-Guide, and download here.
